How To Kill Group Discussions - Part 2
If you're a group leader, you want your conversation to be organic, not controlled. That can be tough for those of us that like to talk! But if you want your group to grow to be more like Jesus, you'll need to open up your hands and allow the Holy Spirit to guide your discussion. Here are five quick conversation killers that we can all fall into once in a while. Check out Part 1 here.
https://youtu.be/MA-n4kLlfZc
Investing In Your Group
As Community Group leaders, you want to make investments in your group that cultivate growth, transparency, and encouragement. As the writer of Hebrews says, “Take care, brothers, lest there be in any of you an evil, unbelieving heart, leading you to fall away from the living God. But exhort one another every day, as long as it is called ‘today’, that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin.” (Hebrews 3:12-13 ESV).
Daily encouragement and investment in others has power to provide protection from a hard heart of sin. Let's talk about three ways you can encourage and invest in your group outside of your regular group meetings:
Do the Small Things
Some of the greatest encouragement comes from the smallest gestures. Start a text-message thread with your group and encourage them. Let them know when you pray for them. But don’t stop there; make it a goal to call one or two group members each week and find out how they are doing. An open line of communication is one of the easiest ways to encourage and invest in your group.
Spend Time Together
Work to spend time with some of your group members outside of group. This might not be natural for some of you but you can work hard to make it happen. Some of the most encouraging and uplifting conversations come from simply spending time with people. Learn to invite them into your everyday life. If you have to go pick up lumber for a project, ask one of your buddies to go with. If you want to go get your nails done, invite one of the girls to go with you. It doesn’t have to be fancy - just commit to do life together in the simple ways. But remember your goal: encouragement.
Celebrate Growth
As the leader of the group you get to see growth first hand. Sometimes this requires asking the hard questions and pointing out sin to those who might be struggling. These circumstances are difficult but will be great eternal investments. Make it your aim to walk with these individuals or couples as they commit to grow. Keep them accountable. Check in on them. Celebrate victory over sin!
By Curtis Johnson
Dealing With Conflict During Your Group Meeting
Living life together in community brings out the good and bad in all of us. One of the hard things about leading is dealing with outbursts and conflict during a group. You can be having great conversation and then someone interrupts, rambles, tries to speak loudest, or forcefully shares their opinion to the group. You might sense some tension. You might even notice that some people are outwardly offended or hurt. Don’t be discouraged. This is a great opportunity to shepherd your group together.
Affirm people for the fact that they shared, not necessarily what was shared or how it was shared. Your Community Group needs to be a safe place for people to share, process, and do life together. As a leader you want to encourage transparency while inviting people to grow. In the moment after a verbal outburst it’s important for you to affirm the person for sharing. Tell them, “Hey thanks for sharing. I really appreciate you sharing your perspective.” You’re not affirming what they said or how they said it but you are letting them know that you appreciate the fact that they shared. As the leader, you protect the safety of the atmosphere of your group. Praise people for their transparency, even if you don’t agree with their opinion.
Quickly move on. After affirming the individual for sharing, move the conversation on. If you are in the middle of sermon questions, go to the next question. If you are eating dinner together around the table, move the group to the living room to start discussion. As much as you can, don’t dwell on the topic/atmosphere that the tension centered around. The burden of this is on you as the leader. If the conflict continues, simply let the person know you will get together with them personally to talk about the subject later.
Follow up with the individual. After the group meeting is over, take some time to get with the individual alone. Avoid confronting them in front of the whole group. It might be best to call them after group is over. Approach them humbly as you challenge them. You could say something like, “Hey, I noticed you were pretty passionate tonight. I’m sorry if I said something to offend you.” This should get the person talking and will potentially uncover some heart issues. First, address how the individual responded. Refer to 1 Corinthians 13 and the way of love. No matter what we say, if we don’t say it in love it’s like a clanging symbol. Then, address the issue and deal with it appropriately. If there is sin that needs to be dealt with, don’t be afraid to deal with it biblically. If it’s appropriate, encourage reconciliation with your group at the next group gathering.
Dealing with outbursts in your group is an important skill to learn as a Community Group leader. Remember…affirm, move on, and follow up.
By Curtis Johnson
How To Kill Group Discussions - Part 1
The awkward silence. Every group experiences it once in a while. But if you normally hear more crickets than conversation during your group gatherings, you might have a problem. People in your group simply won't experience life change together without having quality conversations. As a leader, you can help create environments where those discussions happen, but to do so, you'll need to avoid these five deadly conversation killers.
https://youtu.be/ISa8SH-BM_s
Making The Most Of The Summer Shift
Ecclesiastes chapter three starts like this, “For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven.” While this verse isn’t written specifically to address small group leaders in the 21st century, we can definitely apply the general principle. There are unique times and seasons that offer opportunities that are unique to those times and seasons! In our context, the summer months bring the greatest transition in routine, schedule, and focus of the entire year. But as a Community Group leader, does that mean your ministry in the lives of people takes a three-month vacation? Or does the summer offer some unique opportunities to adjust the way you do ministry? Here are three simple ways to shift your energies without losing relational momentum during the summer:
Spend regular time with your co-leaders or potential co-leaders. Let’s face it, it’s tough to carve out time to train and equip your co-leaders during the busyness of the school year. The summer shift gives you that opportunity. Work hard to schedule regular time with your co-leaders during the summer. Get coffee every Saturday morning, have your co-leader’s family come to dinner every other week, or work through the Two:22 Discipleship material together. Spend intentional time praying, dreaming, and talking about the upcoming Community Group season. If your group is multiplying, use this time to discuss what the two new groups will look like.
Get together with part of the group every few weeks. Use the summer months to be with some of the couples or individuals in your group that you might not have been able to spend much time with during the school year. For instance, have a barbecue with the two families that were new to your group this season. Or, invite that single mom and her children over for lunch on Sunday afternoon. No pressure, no agenda, just be with people in your group in a different setting. These small investments can make a big difference in the way your group connects when the weekly meetings kick off again.
Meet socially as a whole group every month. Before your last get-together of the spring season, be sure to put some dates on the calendar. If you can plan ahead, you’ll have a much better chance of everyone being available. When you do get together, keep it light-hearted. Play games, eat together, relax, or go on a day trip. Just make some fun memories with your group. By the way, don’t feel like you need to be the one organizing every summer gathering. Ask people in your group to plan the events. Share ownership of these simple group get-togethers and watch how your group rises to the occasion.
When your regular weekly group meetings end for the season, don’t clock out. The summer provides some unique opportunities to continue to lead your group to experience life change together. Make an intentional shift and use the summer months to lay the foundation for the fall and beyond.
3 Reasons For Developing A Co-Leader
Reproducing yourself into the life of a co-leader is one of your main priorities as a Community Group leader. Why is this so important? Here are three reasons.
https://youtu.be/hhcLuQoKQmc
4 Steps To Identifying New Co-Leaders
Life change happens best when we’re growing together. This is a powerful thought for Community Group leaders. If you’re launching a Community Group for the first time, or are just getting ready to kick off a new season with your current group, here’s a simple encouragement - never lead alone. Developing a co-leader in your Community Group will instantly increase it’s potential and capacity for life change together. Here are four steps to identifying new co-leaders for your Community Group.
https://youtu.be/yiAbjnOnOLE
How To Finish This Group Season Strong
At our church, Community Groups meet together regularly for a season, then take a break, then meet again. This rhythm allows us to implement strategic on-and off-ramps, as well as give our leaders intentional breaks. If your group is approaching the end of a season, here are some practical tips to finishing strong:
Celebrate wins. A great way to finish the group season is to take time in your next gathering for everyone to share one way they have experienced life change together over this last year though a specific circumstance, relationship, discipline, ministry, or helpful teaching.
Share a meal. Is it possible to have a party without food? Go all out for your last night of group with the biggest feast you have had all year. Make it a celebration your group won't forget.
Get feedback. Your group members may have some great insights to help your group continue to be an environment where people are loved, cared for, and are excited to share life together. So ask them!
Identify future leaders. Do you have couples in your group that show the character, chemistry, and commitment to lead? They may be great future co-leaders in your group or a future group. Discuss them with your co-leaders, pray for them, and invite them to pray with you about how God might use them in leadership next season.
Talk about multiplication. Whether your group recently multiplied or you've been together for a while, start planning now for multiplication and keep reminding your group of our mission to make more people more like Jesus. You might even say something like, “At one point someone made room in their Community Group for us to experience community and we want to do the same for others.”
Plan a few social events for the break. Don’t feel like you need to fill up the calendar, but brainstorm with your group about how you might get together over the break time. If you don’t schedule it, it probably won’t happen!
Stay in touch. Community Groups wind down during these seasonal breaks but relationships never end. As leaders, you can be an example of this, but keep it simple! It may be a Facebook post, a text, or a coffee or lunch with one or two people in your group.
Enjoy the break. We plan breaks from group for a reason. Enjoy some time to rest, hang out with your family or friends, have an extra night in, or travel. It is okay to say no to an invite and not have to feel guilty about it. Use this break to recharge and grow more in love with Jesus.
Developing Leaders Like Jesus
As a Community Group leader, one of the greatest privileges you’ll have is developing co-leaders who will one day multiply out and lead on their own. Remember - today’s co-leaders are tomorrow’s leaders. To raise up effective leadership for today and tomorrow, follow the example that Jesus set during His ministry on earth. Jesus was the master leader-maker. So, how did He do it?
https://youtu.be/vvZUFFY8KAk
How To Prepare Your Group To Multiply
Healthy Community Groups multiply. It’s in their DNA. They can’t help it. When a group of disciple-making disciples experiences life change together, it’s infectious. The group will grow, and multiplication will be a natural part of the process. Here are some key steps in the journey of helping your group prepare to multiply.
https://youtu.be/jl4JVu6Krsk
Life Change Together
Here at Saylorville, we really believe that the Christian life is meant to be lived to the fullest, and that God designed us to live that kind of life together in biblical community. Cell Groups can be a great place to find these kinds of tight-knit, encouraging, challenging, and fun friendships. Whether you're a brand new group leader or a veteran, it's up to you to help create environments where your group can share life, pursue change, and grow together. Here's why these three priorities are so important.
https://youtu.be/zsgdqg5o9rY
Characteristics Of A Great Co-Leader
As a Community Group leader, how do you know which of your group members could make great co-leaders? Here are three qualities that will help you identify tomorrow’s group leaders in your group today.
https://youtu.be/bi0MW6b-7CA