Every set of relationships has written or unwritten expectations. In the same way, our Community Groups agree to a set of community commitments that maximize each member’s experience. Very simply, the level of community we gain from our group will be directly related to the level of commitment we give to our group. As a leader, use this Community Group Agreement at the beginning of each season to be sure your whole group is on the same page.

One of the ways to continue to experience life change together while we can’t be together in-person is to use online tools like these. While it’s not the same as being face-to-face, technology still allows us to see each other, grow together, and encourage one another. In fact, you may find that you’re able to dig deeper into some relationships now that you don’t have the weekly programmed gathering time. Hosting an online discussion group takes a little getting used to, so here are some tips to help your first one go well.

Acknowledge that it’s different. Duh! Meeting online is way different than meeting in-person. Looking at someone on a screen isn’t the same as looking at someone across the dining room table. It’s different. But that’s okay. Don’t expect that everybody will take to it right away. Conversation may be a little awkward at times, but enjoy it. Laugh at the weirdness of it. Be okay with different. In fact, why not take a few minutes at the beginning of your group conversation to celebrate the fact that you can actually still see each other!

Use the Sunday sermon questions as a guide. Hundreds of people are watching our Sunday services either live or later online. Using the sermon discussion questions that are posted every Sunday is a great way to follow up with your group after the Sunday message. If everybody has watched the message, then everybody will come to the discussion with a response – or at least something that stuck out to them. Using the sermon questions also allows you, as the leader, to focus your time on building relationships with people in your group throughout the week – calling them, praying for them, writing them an encouraging note – instead of putting extra time into studying for a group discussion.

Assign a question to each person in your group. When you meet online for your group conversation, ask specific people to answer each question. Say something like, “Hey Bob, why don’t you read question number two and then let us know what you think.” This way, you’ll be able to include everybody in the conversation, you’ll get some good response from each person, and you won’t have to worry about fighting for screen time! Don’t forget to ask follow-up questions too, like, “Thanks Bob. That’s great insight, how would everybody else respond to what Bob just shared?”

Focus on truth, not trivia. In times of uncertainty, it may be easy for your group discussion to drift into areas of fear, concern, or even speculation. Although we certainly want to address real fears, your online group isn’t the place to debate the finer details of government regulations, conspiracy theories, or the latest presidential speech. Be sure to pull your group back to God’s Word, God’s character, and what we know to be true.

Ask for a take-away from each person. As you wrap up your conversation, go around your group and ask everyone to summarize their thoughts. Sometimes, being forced to put our learning into a key phrase or sentence really helps us focus on the main application. Encourage your group to individually narrow down their thoughts into one main take-away for the night, and then to apply that take-away to the rest of their week.

Pray one-by-one or one-for-all. Don’t end your online group gathering without praying for one another. Prayer builds togetherness – even when we’re not physically together. Assign prayer partners for the week, or ask your Co-Leaders to follow up with half of your group over the upcoming few days. Stay connected through text messaging, emails, or even calling people in your group to pray together.

We’ve partnered with RightNow Media to provide additional teaching and training resources for Community Group leaders and co-leaders. Our subscription gives you free access to a huge, streaming, online, access-on-any-device library of over 10,000 video Bible studies, leadership videos, kids shows and more.

To sum it up — it’s like the Netflix of Bible study videos. You will have FREE access to thousands of video resources to help you with parenting, marriage, discipleship and more. It includes content for all ages and stages of life, and all of your Community Group members are invited to set up their own accounts as well.

Check out rightnow.org or contact the church office to request a login.

The New Testament records 183 questions that people asked Jesus. He gave a direct answer to three of those questions, but he asked 307 clarifying or redirecting questions in response. One well-formed question can often be more effective than immediately giving the right answer. As group leaders, one of the most useful skills to learn is the art of asking great questions. Here are some advantages of asking questions in your group this week:

• Without questions there is no learning. Great questions spark great conversations. Great conversations help us learn about ourselves and those around us. Your group discussion should be a conversation, not a class. Don’t think of yourself as the teacher, but as a conversation facilitator.
• Questions help you know whether the group is grasping the content. Without feedback you’ll never know what your group is learning.
• Questions keep the group interesting. If you’re doing most of the talking, there’s a good chance that your group lost interest weeks ago.
• Questions cause group members to learn more together than they would have on their own. A well-placed question will cause your group members to discover the answers together. Giving people the answers will actually stunt their growth.
• Questions enable the leader to focus and direct the discussion. As a leader, it’s part of your goal to create an environment where discussion can be authentic and meaningful. Asking great questions allows you to move the conversation skillfully toward openness and growth.
• Group interaction helps relationships develop within the group, which in turn helps learning and application. Knowledge isn’t the goal of your group discussions – transformation is. At Saylorville, we want our groups to experience life change together. Great questions can lead to shared life experiences, biblical change, and practical steps of growth in your group.

As a group leader, keep sharpening the skill of asking great questions. Over time, you’ll find that the conversations you have and the relationships you build will draw your group together, increase participation, and create some great memories.

Are you a new leader, or are you leading a group of people who are new to Community Groups? The first few weeks of your group life will set the stage for the rest of your journey together. Here are a few ideas to help you launch your group successfully.

The awkward silence. Every group experiences it once in a while. But if you normally hear more crickets than conversation during your group gatherings, you might have a problem. People in your group simply won’t experience life change together without having quality conversations. As a leader, you can help create environments where those discussions happen, but to do so, you’ll need to avoid these five deadly conversation killers.

If you’re a group leader, you want your conversation to be organic, not controlled. That can be tough for those of us that like to talk! But if you want your group to grow to be more like Jesus, you’ll need to open up your hands and allow the Holy Spirit to guide your discussion. Here are five quick conversation killers that we can all fall into once in a while.

As Community Group Leaders, your lives are undoubtedly busy, so there will be weeks when it will be really tough to carve out time for your group meeting. Remember, though, the level of community you get from your group is directly related to the level of commitment you give to your group. Of course, there will be weeks when it’s just impossible to meet together, but instead of cancelling right away, here are some ideas that might help keep your group connected…even if it’s not face-to-face.

Get together with those who can still meet. There will be weeks when a family gets sick and can’t come. The same week one of your guys calls you and says he is going out of town and won’t be in group. Then you get a text an hour before your meeting with another cancellation. Don’t automatically cancel the meeting! Your group may have 14 people in it and only 5 can meet. That’s okay! Get together with those who still can, but do something different with the smaller group. Pray together. Go out to eat. Or brainstorm a way to spontaneously serve someone and go do it. These gatherings could produce some meaningful opportunities for your group to experience life change together.

Rely on your co-leaders. Sometimes you will be the one that is busy or gets sick. Life happens. We get that. Talk to your co-leaders and have them host and lead group those nights. This not only keeps your group together, but will give your co-leader a chance to lead and get great experience. Make sure to follow up with them and evaluate the night to help them grow.

Use technology to have a virtual meeting. Even if you’re group can’t all be together in the same room, you can still have a meaningful conversation. The next time you are considering canceling your weekly meeting, consider one of these creative techie options:

• FaceTime. If a member of your group is unable to get to group consider having them FaceTime one of your other group members. You could use other video chats like Skype, Google Duo, Viber, or Facebook Messenger. This can be a great way to still include those who can’t be with the group.
• Google Hangout. When you can’t get together as a group look into using Google Hangout, which has the ability to either video chat one-on-one or in a group. This app is really useful for group video chats. The only requirement is a Gmail account. It allows you to create a group so you can all video chat together. Plan a time for your group to video chat and work through the sermon questions together over Google Hangout. It’s a great way to still see and hear your group while not being face-to-face.
• Facebook Live. Create a private Facebook page for just your Community Group. Your group will be able to use this resource for encouragement, group updates, prayer requests, and community-building. It will also give you access to Facebook Live. As the administrator of the page, you can “Go Live” to the group. This allows your group to type in real-time responses to a live video of you walking through the discussion questions for the week. As a bonus, group members can log on later and watch the video again, even if they missed it live. What a great way to interact and share as a group, even if you can’t be face-to-face!

These are just ideas. Hopefully they help you get creative with your group. And, if you really need a break from group this week – take a break! Rest is good. We are so thankful for you as you lead your Community Group to make more people more like Jesus.

And we urge you, brothers and sisters, warn those who are idle and disruptive, encourage the disheartened, help the weak, be patient with everyone. 1 Thessalonians 5:14

If you’re a Community Group leader, you’re goal is to help create environments where people in your group can experience life change together. But what happens when there are some in the group that seem to resist? What happens when you don’t get along well with someone in the group? What about someone that just has one of those challenging personalities? Here are some ideas that may help as you lead people that might require extra patience.

Someone Who Talks Too Much

• Talk privately with the person before your meeting and ask them to help get others involved.
• Ask, “What does someone else think?”
• Use body language to address other people.
• Sit next to the talker. This directs your eyes to other people and allows you to be close enough to the talker to lean in to appropriately interrupt, if you need to.
• Direct questions to other people by name.

Someone Who Never Talks

• Express appreciation (both publicly and privately) for the contributions they make.
• Use an icebreaker to get everyone talking right away.
• Ask them specifically, “What do you think?”
• Direct simple questions their way.
• Enlist the help of other group members to draw them out.

Someone Raises A Controversial Question

• Remind the group that we must rely on the truth of God’s Word as the final authority in our lives and in the group.
• Don’t be afraid to say, “I don’t know the answer, but I’ll try to find out.”
• Acknowledge that Christians hold different views on a variety of topics.
• Know that you are not going to settle every question for all Christians for all time in one discussion.
• Focus on what the different opinions have in common.

Group Participation Is Limited

• Use the “Connect” section on the Sermon Questions to ease into the deeper discussion.
• Encourage people to take notes during the Sunday message and come ready to share their “one thing” – something that stuck out to them about what they heard.
• Ask application questions like, “So how could you practice this principle this week?”
• After someone answers a question, use follow up questions to draw out more thoughts from them or someone else.
• Focus on open-ended questions rather than asking for “Yes/No” responses.
• Use statements like “Go on”, “Tell us more”, “What do you mean?”, “Anything else?”, “What does everybody else think?”.

Group Discussion Drifts Into Tangents

• Be flexible – sometimes the issues need to be discussed even though they are not scheduled.
• If it’s appropriate, say, “Let’s stop and pray about this right now.” After prayer, transition immediately back to the main topic.
• Agree to discuss the topic at a later date.
  

Whether you’ve been leading small groups for years, or you’re just starting in your leadership journey, you’ll need to be skilled at facilitating conversations. Check out these tips on how to lead your group discussions like a pro.

Prepare

• Pray for your group and your discussion
  • Pray that God will give you humility and clarity as you lead your upcoming discussion.
• Watch/Listen to the sermon
  • Most of our Community Groups discuss the sermon from Sunday. In order to best prepare to lead a discussion, make sure you watch the sermon either in person or online.
• Take notes and encourage your group to take notes
  • Taking notes helps us follow along more closely and remember content longer. Bring your notes to your group discussion that week.
• Preview the sermon questions
  • Discussion questions are posted on the sermon page every week during the school year.
  • Make sure to read through all the questions before leading the discussion. Be sure to make note of questions that you think will work best in your group.
• Three ways to use the sermon questions
  • Try them (read the questions as-is)
  • Tweak them (edit or adjust the questions to better suit your group dynamic)
  • Trash them (write your own questions, study something else that week, be sensitive to what’s happening in your group that week)

Discussion Tips

• Ask follow up questions
  • After someone answers a question, use follow up questions to draw out more thoughts from them or someone else.
  • Focus on open-ended questions, rather than asking for “Yes/No” responses.
  • Use statements like “Go on”, “Tell us more”, “What do you mean?”, “Anything else?”, “What does everybody else think?”.
• Get comfortable with silence
  • Don’t be the first to answer your own questions. It usually takes time for people to process the question and think of an answer.
• Give affirmation whenever you can
  • You may not always agree with someone’s answer, but the more you are able to affirm their thoughts, the more likely everyone will be to keep sharing.
  • Use phrases like “Great question”, “Thanks for sharing”, “I love that”, “Very helpful”.
• Try to involve everyone
  • Draw people in that haven’t talked yet. Use phrases like “Anyone who hasn’t shared yet?”, “How about someone on this side of the room?”, “Guys, any thoughts from you?”.
  • Don’t let someone dominate. Talk to them beforehand and ask them to help you involve others. Sit next to them during the discussion. Call on others.
• Begin and end on time
  • Know ahead of time when to begin and end discussion. Plan how long you want to spend Connecting, Applying, and Praying. It is better to leave people wanting more with a short discussion than to drag on too long.
• Don’t focus on getting through all of the material
  • The goal of discussion is to help everyone apply their faith, not answer all of the questions. Be ready to pause the discussion to be sensitive to the Holy Spirit’s leading.
• Get feedback
  • After your first time facilitating, ask your co-leaders for feedback. Always try to improve!

Looking for a creative and meaningful icebreaker or opener for your group this week? Download the Story Cards, then read the instructions on how to use them below.

We live in a visual culture. When you have people interact with pictures instead of just asking them questions, they open up in surprising ways. It’s a great way to get past surface topics and start to really get to know people. You may learn new and eye-opening things about people you thought you already knew well.

Story cards can be used with brand new groups to help people get to know each other, or in established groups to dig deeper into existing relationships.

Instructions:

• Print out the Story Cards, cut them apart, and bring them to your next group meeting. (Alternately, pick a few pictures from the Story Cards and email/text them to your group before your meeting.)
• Spread the story cards out in the middle of the room so people can see them when they first walk in. Or, if you’re sitting around a table, spread the cards out on the table where everyone can reach them.
• Ask each person to pick a card that illustrates what’s going on in his or her life right now. Here are several examples of questions you might use:

• • Pick a card that represents your week so far.
  • Pick a card that represents how you feel about this time of year.
  • Pick a card that captures your current level of stress in life.
  • Pick a card that reminds you of your childhood.
  • Pick a card that reminds you of your first date.
  • Pick a card that illustrates one of your favorite vacations.
  • Pick a card that reminds you of a person that helped shape you spiritually.
  • Pick a card that represents an event that helped shape you spiritually.
  • Pick a card that reminds you of one of the most difficult seasons of your life.
  • Pick a card that reminds you of one of the best seasons of your life.
  • Pick a card that represents a goal you have achieved.
  • Pick a card that illustrates a goal you still want to achieve.
  • Pick a card that represents an area in which you want to change this year.
  • Pick a card that captures the way you feel about your relationship with God today.

• Ask why each person picked the card he or she did.

Don’t be surprised if your group members go deep quickly. And don’t be surprised if someone doesn’t share anything. Your response to what they say has the potential to deepen or hinder the relational bonds in your group, so proceed with wisdom.

Feel free to be creative and develop your own questions. Story cards can help get conversations going around lots of different topics. Ask questions that will help people connect with their own stories and with others.

This idea has been adapted from a resource created by North Point Ministries.

Using group openers is a basic, yet essential, small group skill. Icebreaker questions are designed to facilitate discussion help people open up more freely. They are not designed for simple yes and no answers. Use these questions in your group time to help get everyone participating in the conversation right away.

1. If you could have free tickets to any concert, where/who would it be?
2. What was your favorite subject in high school?
3. Who was your favorite elementary school teacher and why?
4. Are you the type who gets things done early or waits till the last minute?
5. What do you normally do when you have free time?
6. Where’s your favorite place to eat and what do you usually order?
7. What’s the best Christmas/birthday gift you’ve ever received?
8. What’s the scariest situation you’ve ever been in?
9. Are you a morning or a night person?
10. If you could drive any car in the world, what would it be?
11. What’s the last movie you saw? What did you like about it?
12. Would you rather be rich or famous?
13. If you could be a professional athlete in any sport, what sport would it be?
14. If you could travel anywhere in the world, where would you go?
15. How would you describe yourself in three words?
16. What’s a character quality you admire most in others?
17. Are you the type to save your money or spend it right away?
18. Who are you closest to in your family?
19. What’s the story behind the longest time you’ve gone without sleep?
20. Who is the most famous person you’ve known or met? How did it happen?
21. If you could do one miracle, what would you do? Why?
22. What do you miss most about being a kid?
23. What day of your life would you most like to relive? Why?
24. What’s the smallest space you’ve lived in? What was it like?
25. In what way are you most like your dad/mom?
26. What does your name mean? Why were you named that?
27. What is your favorite Bible verse?
28. If you were to describe yourself in terms of a flavor, what would your flavor be?
29. If you could eliminate one kind of animal from the earth, which one would it be?
30. What has been one of the greatest adventures you have ever been on?
31. If you could swap roles with someone for a day, whom would you choose?
32. What would you do if you could design your perfect day?
33. If you could attempt anything with guaranteed success what would it be and why?
34. What is your earliest memory?
35. What is one of your biggest pet peeves?
36. What was your favorite TV show when you were eight years old?
37. When you hear the words, “getting older,” what comes to your mind?
38. What was the happiest moment in your life?
39. What is the hardest thing you’ve ever done?
40. When was the last time you did something for the first time?

If you have children that attend your regular Community Group gatherings, you’ll need to think about how to handle childcare each week. Be sensitive as you work with your co-leaders, as well as the parents of the children in your group. Before you make any final decision about how to incorporate children in your group this season, consider the following options.

Children or No Children?
Here are some common options when children participate with adults in the group:

Finding a Babysitter
If you decide to have the children separated from the adults, it’s good to have a babysitter. Here are some ideas for finding and paying a babysitter: